Rachel here - so "writer's block" (I probably mean laziness for myself!!) has lasted almost a year. Yikes! Sorry about that folks. I talked to Rachael at the end of the summer about a blogging idea I had to give us some ideas, but I haven't taken the time to put it into action for myself.
Writing consistently simply involves writing consistently, right? :) That's what I'm aiming at for myself. I want to be consistent about blogging and try and improve my style and voice and all that fun writing stuff. The idea of writing is always so much grander than the practice - or discipline! - of writing.
The plan for giving ourselves writing ideas is to blog through the alphabet. If I write about "A," Rachael might also write about "A," but she may also carry on to "B." Pretty simple, but I think it'll work for us.
My first topic is going to be about ANGER.
Anger is OK. Anger is natural. Throughout your dialysis process - whatever stage you're at - you're likely going to feel downright pissed off. Go with that. Let the anger happen and work your way through it. How you work through it is completely up to you. You might need to vent to a family member, or you may need to see a counsellor. You might want to keep your anger to yourself and let it out in a journal, or punch it out onto a pillow. You might walk daily and listen to some hard driving beats. Find your outlet and then for goodness' sake, use it! If one thing doesn't seem to work for you, try something else. There is no right way, no wrong way to handle your anger. OK. wait, lemme rephrase that. Don't beat anyone up. Don't hurt anyone. If you say words in anger, apologize. Your disease does not give you a free pass to be an asshole, so 'fess up, apologize, and learn from whatever happened.
I haven't had any extreme cases of anger through my dialysis experience, but every once in awhile, I feel mildly pissed off. Like the other night I was sitting in bed playing Farmville before bed and I kept thinking over and over "I really don't want this to be my life anymore." And the feeling was distinctly pissy. None of us want this life for ourselves. If I wouldn't have ended up on dialysis, I would have simply worked long enough to save enough money to buy myself a plane ticket out of Canada and gone to Singapore, or even back to Japan. However, this life happened and until I am ready for a transplant, this is the life I'm living. So there's very little I can do about the anger other than remember that I do have outlets and that I can choose my own attitude about the whole thing. So can you. You can choose to let your anger fester and consume you, or you can treat your mental health with the same respect as your physical health.
-RT
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